


Aren't Mortals So... Amusing?

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: ;0, Aaron and Sally are mortals, Alexander Hamilton is kind of a disaster, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Aaron, ELIZA IS BAMF, Implied Sexual Content, James Madison tries to kill Aaron, James Madison will cut you, M/M, OKAY?????? OKAY., Philip Hamilton is Alexander's younger brother, Poor Aaron Burr, THE WORLD NEEDS MORE BAMF ELIZA, The setting is kind of fantasy-ish btw, Thomas is kind of a cunt, WO O P W O OP, everyone else is a god, it's a gay gay heaven up there folks, literally all the gods are gay, scratch what i said earlier, thomas IS a cunt, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Past a forest, through a meadow, and on top of a hill rested a minuscule village. Its people were ordinary, and by ordinary, we mean God-fearing. You couldn't turn a corner on the village's cobblestone path without passing something,anythingrelating to the gods. The gods were the explanation to everything, the reason everything existed, and the people worshipped, feared, and gave sacrifices to their extraterrestrial creators.However, there was one person who did not.And his name was Aaron Burr.(AU and Idea by androrygins on tumblr)





	1. Mr. Aaron Burr

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like! It's a little short, so be sure to anticipate longer chapters!

Past a forest, through a meadow, and on top of a hill rested a minuscule village. Its people were ordinary, and by ordinary, they mean god-fearing. You couldn't turn a corner on the village's cobblestone path without passing something, anything relating to the gods. The gods were the explanation to everything, the reason everything existed, and the most of the people worshipped, feared, and gave sacrifices to their extraterrestrial creators.

However, there was one person who did not.

And his name was Aaron Burr.

Aaron thought of the gods as a lazy explanation for how things came to be. However, Aaron kept most of those thoughts to himself, even though it was very, very, bitingly, hard. It's like the gods were a mosquito bite that Aaron refused to let swell, while the rest of his tiny village incessantly scratched the bite to burgeon a giant red mess.

This was exactly how he felt when his younger sister, Sally Burr, barged into their home with a new necklace, which hung loosely and proudly on her neck.

"Aaron! Look what I got!" The 11-year old chirps, her fingers sprawled widely to showcase her neck. It was a gilded necklace of Angelica, the goddess of strength and women. Aaron's eyes darted up from the book he was perusing, and mumbled out one word in reply to his sister:

"Neat."

Sally's smile stayed unwaveringly bright. "I got you one too! I was over at the market, and I managed to pick up two for a few coins." She rummaged her satchel for Aaron's 'gift', finally yanking her hand out with a necklace wrapped around her fingers. Aaron lets out a huff before his eyes trail back to the book. "Sally, I'm not wearing that necklace."

"C'mon, Aaron, please?" She pleads. Aaron hated when she'd do this. Sally would keep on prying and begging, each pleads sounding more pathetic than the last until she finally got what she wanted. It was a classic younger sibling technique. Aaron finally shook his head in reply. "Nope."

"Please?" She continues to pull at Aaron, "Aaron, c'mon!" She stretched out his name when she said it, making it sound more like a complaint. Aaron's eyes shoot up from the book to match with Sally's beady, brown ones. Big mistake. Now he couldn't say no. Aaron heaved a sigh. "Fine, I'll wear it."

The younger sibling squealed with delight, marching over to Aaron and clipping it around his neck. "Now we match!" She grins, and Aaron grins back. His sister's smile was infectious. "Now we match." He echoes, a small smile now curving his lips. Aaron grabs the jewelry turning it over to look at what god the necklace was made after. It was the god of time, Alexander. When Aaron had been a child, he'd heard myths about the god and in every single one of those stories, he always had the same response: He needs to stop running his mouth, and maybe smile every once in a while.

That's what Aaron had always lived by, talking less and smiling more. It's how he managed to live with all these god-praising hooligans. It's how he'd hoped that he would get out of this lousy village.

"It looks good on you!" Sally smiled. "I didn't know what your patron god was, since you think 'gods are just bedtime stories used to teach kids morals', so I just chose a random one-"

"It's fine, Sally." Aaron reassures, giggling slightly. He then snaps his book shut, and places it on the cluttered wooden table, which was home to most of his books. He then managed to snag a jacket, ambling toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Sally questioned, fiddling with her necklace.

"I'm just going to head over to Bellamy's, nothing special." He replies automatically. Sally hums, a sign of understanding.

Aaron croaks open the door, sauntering outward. Sally manages a goodbye before the door closes. "Goodbye! And may the gods be with you!"

Aaron murmurs a goodbye, rolling his eyes at 'may the gods be with you' part. He knew she meant no harm, though he couldn't help but do so.

The walk to Bellamy's cottage is the same as always. People brushing by him with apparel of their patron god wrapped around their bodies, yapping on and on about the same topics; Did you see that Benji and Tatiana got married? Blessed be the goddess of love. or Did you hear Mrs. Sparrow's grandfather died? Another spirit for the god of death to take. Aaron always dreaded those conversations, even if he wasn't in them. Just the racket of 'gods' being in the back of his ear just... irked him.

Once Aaron made it to his friend's door, he only had to knock once before the door swung open, revealing his smiling accomplice, Jonathan Bellamy. Everything looked the same to him until he looked up at his ears, and Aaron winced. What in the hell was Bellamy wearing?

"Jon, are those... earrings?"

"Yep!" Jonathan squealed, causing the ear-wear to dangle. "They're the symbol of Thomas, the god of beauty! You like them?"

Could Aaron go one day without being bombarded with talk of gods? Was he the literally the only one in the blasted village that could realize that this was nothing more than myths and fables? As much as he wanted to tell Jon otherwise, he managed to feign delight. "They look great on you, Bell." He managed to choke out.

"I know, right?" Jonathan began, before going on a yakking spree. Something about how one day he may become as handsome as the god of beauty, how if he kept on praying to him that he might actually reach him, blah blah blah, so on and so on. Thomas was obviously Jonathan's patron god, and over time he went to his house, he had to endure a full on rant praising him. Aaron was really close with Bellamy, and they might even go as far as being called brothers, but give him a break.

Aaron nods his head occasionally, pretending to listen, murmuring responses like 'yeah' and 'ok' every once in a while until it became apparent that Jonathan was done. Bellamy closed the door to his house behind him and began to trek onto the cobblestone path, Burr pacing next to him.

"So, what do you want to do?" Bellamy queries, finally catching Aaron's attention.

Aaron only arches an eyebrow and smiles, making Bellamy regret his question.

"Aaron, no."

"Aaron, yes."

Jonathan scoffs. "You're not going into the forest again."

"I'm not going into the forest. We are." Aaron teases. Bellamy knows how Burr likes to twist words into his favor.

"Aaron, don't do that."

"To what are you implying?" Aaron giggled, looking up at Bellamy.

Jonathan only groans in reply. "The forest is down the hill and past the meadow. It'll take so long to get there and back."

"What's your rush?" Aaron questions, ceasing Bellamy's complaining. "C'mon, Jon, it'll be fun. Plus, I get a chance to breathe without all that 'god' hullabaloo." Aaron pleads. The last sentence was more to himself than Bellamy, however.

"No. Remember the last time we went down there? You tripped and fell on a tree root."

"Well now I have that root to look out for." Aaron shrugs, making Bellamy laugh a little. Aaron placed his head on Jonathan's shoulder, eyeing up at him through his eyelashes. Jonathan tried to avoid eye contact. "Jon. Jon. Jon. Johnny Boy. Jonathan. Jimmy Jon. Jo-"

"FINE!" Jonathan let on. "But this is only because I want you to stop complaining about how the gods are 'fake'." Bellamy put air quotations around the word 'fake', receiving an eyeball from Aaron.

"I make no promises..." Aaron admits, beginning to prattle down the steep hill. Jonathan sidled behind, worried about slipping down the hill like raindrops slip down the cottage roofs.


	2. See, This is Why you Don't Eat Forbidden Fruit Off of Mysterious Trees

At the end of the village's cobblestone roads, through a meadow, you'll find the beginning of a thick forest. Where two young men stood; one standing proudly, confidently, one ready to venture the forest. The other slumped over in a pissy manner, clearly longing to not be here, rather lounging in the comforts of his own home.

Nonetheless, Aaron snagged Bellamy's drooping hand, yanking him into the deep forest.

After a few minutes of trailing the raggedy, crooked path of dirt in the area, Jonathan begins to whine.

"Aaron, where are we going?" Jon says Aaron's name like a petulant child asking for dessert.

"I don't know," He begins between breaths. "but that's part of the fun, isn't it?" He smiles brightly at the end of his sentence, making his point. Bellamy mumbles something Aaron can't quite catch, and they trek on.

For awhile the only noises are the forest itself. The leaves bristling, the occasional tweet from a bird, and the two men's feet against the sloppy dirt. It's quite peaceful actually.

That is until Bellamy starts whining again.

"Aaron," He cries, bracing Burr for another plea. "How long has it been?"

Burr rolls his eyes at his friend, still practically hauling him by a hand. "It's only been about five minutes, you drama queen. I think you can manage a little longer." He lets out another huff, growing a little weary if Bellamy's childish stamina.

But for a little while, the silence returns, and it's just them in the wild.

Then again, the silence is shattered by none other than Jon. "Aaron, I'm tired. I need to sit down." Jonathan mewls, similar to that of a pleading kitten.

"Bellamy, good lord." Aaron sighed, laughing a little. Bellamy writhed his hand out of Aaron's grip, plopping down on a plump root of a tree. Aaron leans himself against the stump, looking up at the tree. It was one of the biggest trees he's ever seen. The branches of the tree reach out into the air, so wide it's practically hugging all the other trees. The tree made every other thing in the forest seem minuscule by comparison. The bark was like a brown, crinkly mirror; as in it was so shiny, rays of sun made it look heavenly and untouched. On each branch, there was a bountiful supply of leaves, and... maybe a fruit? What was that?

"Whatcha looking at?" Bellamy questioned, though Aaron's eyes stayed locked on the tree and it's... _exotic_ fruit.

"Some kinda... berry I think?" Aaron shrugs, looking at the fruit. Whatever it was, it looked ripe. Hearty and bulging, it was so round the branches were dipping just to hold the brilliantly blue fruit up. Aaron reached out to grab the fruit until Bellamy made a weird squeaking noise, catching his attention.

"What if it's poisonous?" Jon warned. Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Jonathan. There's a rule with fruit and berries you don't know about. Purple and blue, good for you. Red and yellow, kill a fellow. It's blue, so I can eat it." Aaron reasoned, reaching for the berry once more. Maybe if Jon spent less time with worrying about 'gods' he would know small tricks like these. Besides, he was hungry.

"Woah, Woah, Woah! Wait a second. This is Eliza's tree!" Bellamy shrieked, stopping Aaron from eating once more.

"What?" Aaron arched a brow in confusion.

"Eliza's tree! Haven't you heard the myth? Once the god of time cheated on her with a mortal named Maria, she cried for days and days on this exact spot, until a tree sprouted. We're not supposed to eat this fruit." Jon explained as if it was an actual _logical explanation._

Aaron's doubt boiled in him like a cauldron of skepticalness. That's not at all how trees work. You need sunlight, a seed, and _then_ water. Not some goddess' tears! There aren't even gods in general! Aaron kept all of this to himself, instead replying with plucking off the fruit from its lowest branch.

"Aaron, you're not supposed to eat that! It's sacred!" Jonathan apprised as if it were some grave danger. To Aaron, it just seemed melodramatic.

"Oh really?" Burr questioned, playfulness tingeing his tone. "Would she care if I did this?" Aaron jokingly darted his tongue out, licking the unknown fruit. His tongue went back in his mouth, a smile tracing his lips instead. The look on Jonathan's face was priceless. Like as if someone mutilated his cat or something. Aaron couldn't stifle his giggle.

"Aaron. Put that fruit down before we get in some serious trouble." 

"Jonathan, it's just some fruit. It has nothing to do with 'Eliza'. Not everything has to relate to gods." Aaron mumbled under his breath. Bellamy hears it loud and clear, however.

"No, Aaron. You aren't supposed to eat this. The gods-"

"FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD, STOP WITH THE 'GODS' SHIT!" Aaron barks, cutting Bellamy off. Jonathan's face softens, clearly hurt by Aaron's unexpected change in tone. It stakes Aaron in the heart to see him even the slightest bit despairing, and it's not like Aaron to lose his cool and yell at all, really. It just... for _nineteen years_ he's had to deal with the same bullshit over and over and over, and when you keep piling someone up like that, they'll tend to explode.

"Jon," Aaron began after a considerable period of silence. "I'm sorry for raising my voice and everything, it's just that... gods aren't real. I don't understand how you can think they are-"

"And I don't understand how _you_ seem to have no faith whatsoever!" Jonathan recoiled. "Have you ever noticed why no one in this town is particularly grumpy? You know why that is? Because it's comforting to have the idea of something bigger than us keeping us alive. Not everything needs a rational explanation. You're like... you're like some sort of machine! A cold, heartless, emotionless, calculating machine!" Jonathan finishes. His anger comes through in his words like daggers, making Aaron wince.

They both sit there quietly, the rush of emotions drowning all possible motions of speaking. Aaron can't believe Jon called him that. _A machine._ Tears begin to blur Burr's vision, though he blinks them away in a heartbeat. Aaron's eyes then shift the blue fruit, still sitting in his seemingly lifeless hand. Sadness and rage were eating away at his brain as a termite eats away at wood. Blinded by his emotions, Burr tightens his grip around the apple, raising it up to his mouth and taking the biggest possible bite, straight through the middle.

Jonathan's originally half-lidded eyes widen immensely. "Aaron!"

Suddenly the tree starts to blur. Everything starts to blur. Aaron's vision grows fuzzy until the only thing he's able to make out is the general shape of things. Then, he begins to feel light-headed, and everything began to swirl. The overwhelming state he was in prevented him from hearing Bellamy.

"Aaron!" He cries, this call sounding more frantic than the last.

Things are getting no better for Burr, however, and the world begins to spin faster, causing him to clutch his stomach. His once fully open eyes sidle down to become half-lidded, and everything began to feel taller.

From Bellamy's point of view, Aaron looks as if he was about to faint. "Aaron, are you okay?!" He asks, it sounds more like a plea rather than a question. Bellamy grabs Aaron's shoulders, cursing at himself. "I shouldn't have let him eat that fruit!" He told himself, his voice quivering.

Finally, Aaron leans back, his eyes fluttering shut, his mouth closes, and his muscles pausing to an abrupt halt.

Aaron Burr has fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL DON'T WORRY IT'LL GET HAPPIER 
> 
> YOU'LL SEE JON AGAIN
> 
> Until then, comments and kudos are appreciated! Follow my Tumblr for more updates and stuff!
> 
> Tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	3. An Incredibly Handsome Hunk of a God Appears!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as u can see i have nothing better to do during my summer, so i'll update this fic quiiiiiiiiiiite often.
> 
> enjoy!!

In a deep forest, past a meadow, and even farther from a quaint village that's perched on a hill, rested Aaron Burr. His body was seemingly lifeless aside from the steady rise and fall of his stomach. There was no noise, no birds chirping, no leaves bristling. It was tranquil until something inevitably broke the silence.

Aaron's eyes snapped open and a surge of breath pooled out of his mouth and nostrils. After a small moment to make sure he was breathing. A snarky voice calls out to him.

"Oh, good, you're up." It's the voice of a male, and he sounds more playful rather than thankful that he's breathing. 

Aaron recollects all his thoughts together, regaining insight on everything. The argument, that blasted fruit, and... Bellamy.

_Where is Bellamy?_

Aaron hauls himself upward, his head darting back and forth, frenziedly looking for his friend. He was in the same spot where he was when he fainted; in the forest by the meadow. One thing was different, and that was that Bellamy was nowhere to be found.

Aaron dusted himself off and began to march himself in the other direction, not even acknowledging the voice from a few seconds ago. Why would he? He needed to find Jonathan. Despite that absolutely unwarrented comment about being 'a machine', Aaron actually cared about him.

"Hey, hey, hey, darlin'! Where ya goin'?" The same voice hooted, and Aaron honestly didn't bother. Even if it _did_ sound like flirting.

Aaron trailed on. "Bellamy! Jon! Where are you!" He called out, his hand trembling slightly. He needed to find Bellamy.

"I asked you a question, sweets." He voice preens, now seemingly closer than where it sounded from a minute ago. 

Aaron just wanted the guy to shut up. If that met acknowledging this sleaze, then so be it. "What do you wa-" Aaron interrupts himself, his breath hitching. Who _was_ this man? He was absolutely _gorgeous_. He had deep caramel skin and piercing brown eyes that could probably be seen from miles away. His hair was a luscious bush of brown, coily hair, which seems to be... sparkling? His hair was sparkling. Not to mention his robe... which was barely a robe at all. It looked more like a bed sheet thrown over his privates, with one sleeve sewn on. Not that Aaron was complaining, because he was _fucking_ ripped. He was _just too gorgeous_. It wasn't even fair. Was Aaron staring? Why was he staring! He had to look for Bellamy. Yet for some reason, he didn't move a muscle.

"Who... are you?"

"What, you don't know who I am? I manage to put myself out there a lot." He chuckles, arching an eyebrow. Aaron stifled a flush, his eyes averting to something else to not embarrass himself. Wait a second, what was that symbol on his neck? Aaron felt like he'd seen it before...

Wait.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It was the same symbol that was plastered on Bellamy's earrings.

Was this a god? The god of beauty? This can't be. It would explain why he looks so _striking_. But he can't be a god. Gods aren't real. This was just another god of beauty obsessed jockey. In a white robe. With glowing hair. And an unnaturally white smile. Oh, who was he kidding! Bellamy was right! There were gods. And this obviously was one. What was he supposed to do? Kneel? He hasn't worshipped the gods for _nineteen years straight_ , of course he didn't know what to do! Maybe he should play it cool like he does with every other attractive person he meets.

"No, haven't heard of you." Aaron shrugs, feigning confidence. He folds his arms snarkily. "Who're you?" Aaron thought he was doing a pretty good job, judging that he was truly dying on the inside.

The god flat out laughed. "I like you. You seem different. You aren't kneeling as soon as you see me, so that's new." The god takes another step, making him seem all the more tall. "My name's Thomas Jefferson. God of Beauty." Aaron stops for a moment just to stare and take everything in. Thomas took this as an excuse to stroke his ego a bit more. "Explains a lot, right? Honestly, I get why you're staring, it's absolutely understandabl-" Thomas stops in his tracks, his eyes darting downward.

"What in the halls of America is that on your neck?" He asks, his childish mirth melting away to something much scarier. Aaron's brows furrowed in bewilderment until he realized exactly what he was talking about.

The necklace Sally gave him was of Alexander.

Thomas' mortal enemy. 

Well, shit. Timing was a _bitch._

"Uh, um. Nothing special, really! My sister just gave this to me, she didn't know which god I liked the most, so she just picked a random god..." He chokes out, hoping that it will suffice. Aaron may think this guy is pompous, but he was a god nonetheless. A temper you did _not_ want to trip on.

"Hmm." He hums, inherently not amused. His mood then zooms swiftly back to his original jaunty, egotistical self. "Okay then, I suppose you didn't mean any harm by me, did you?"

Aaron shakes his head swiftly, a fervent no. He then smiles sheepishly, making Thomas grin all the wider. Thomas pulls Aaron close, close enough that he can feel the god's hot breath on his ear. Burr's brain was buzzing with lots of different thoughts. Some of them he would be embarrassed to share aloud.

"You are literally," Thomas began. "The most _adorable_ mortal I've ever seen... I'm taking you with me."

"Tha- wait what?! I'm sorry, but I have a friend that I'm looking for and-"

"Bellamy? He's fine. If it's on your mind that much, I'll tell you this. After you come and stay with me a bit, in the beautiful comforts of _America,_ I'll take you down to your little friend. Seems like a win/win to me." The god smirks, a smile that Aaron doesn't trust for a minute, though the deal did seem enticing...

"Why do you want me to go up there?" Aaron interrogates, arching a brow and narrowing his eyes.

"Because you're entertaining. I'd be a shame for you to die." Thomas sneers.

"Die?! Why would I die!" 

"Because you ate from Eliza's tree." Thomas shrugs as if the answer was obvious. "You've gotten on Eliza's naughty list."

"I want to get _off_ the naughty list!!" Aaron sounded like a misbehaving child just before Christmas. It was pretty pathetic.

"Come with me, then." Thomas extends him a hand, his luring smirk still draped across his face proudly. Aaron, barely taking a second to think, and snagged his hand.

"Eager, are we?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Just take me up there so I won't _die._ "

"And feisty too. I think I might be in love." He snickers, earning another eyeroll from Aaron.

"Let's go then." Aaron replies, and the god's tantilizing smirk returns, back and wider than ever. Aaron might as well die with this guy.

"Hold on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;0
> 
> Tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	4. The Incredibly Handsome Hunk of a God Gets Naked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh thomas

A few hundred feet above a deep, deep forest, which was past a meadow, and even farther than a village resting in tranquility at the top of a hill, was a man and a god. The man was screaming at the top of his lungs as the god flew straight upwards at remarkable speed; he was like a dart skidding through the air to smack against the target. The man barely managed to keep a hold of the god's hand, but he had even more trouble of how high they were going. Every time he'd look down at the ground, it became to look less and less like the ground, and more like a pop-up book's vision of the ground. He was going to be sick.

"How much higher do we have to go?!" Aaron shrieks, clutching Thomas' hand tightly to hold on. His question had no reply, however, which was... irking, to say the least.

Thomas continued to zoom upwards, so blisteringly rapid it left Aaron-shaped holes in the clouds. Aaron gripped his eyes shut, hoping this death-ride would be over. And much to Aaron's happiness, it did.

His eyes screwed open and Burr couldn't help but gasp. Everything around him was beautiful. Gods swirled around the area, chatting and singing and... just being godly. Everything was either gold, gilded, or resembled gold, and everything had a lustrous shine to it. There was a giant gate standing proudly, it's doors were wide open. As if it were presenting the prepossessing marble fountain that sat about a few dozen feet from the gate. The fountain had seven tiers, each tier stocked perfectly with different species of flowers and ornate sculptures. The beauty and decadence of the place took his breath away. Thomas cracked his knuckles (gods could do that?), and helps Aaron onto his feet.

"Welcome to America, Land of Yours Truly, and the other gods." Thomas announces, a flint of righteousness in his eye until someone interrupts him, putting out the spark of righteousness as fast as it was lit.

"Oh, look, Jefferson's back." Someone croaked, sarcasm splashing in his voice like the water in the fountain. Thomas, gripping his hands in rage, takes a few deep breaths, a sign of trying to keep his cool. Aaron shifts his attention to the voice and it... oh my god. It's the god from the necklace. It's Alexander. He's... much more attractive than he was on the necklace. And that's a compliment because the necklace definitely wasn't bad either. 

He had olive skin and shoulder-length deep chocolate hair. His eyes were just as piercing as Thomas', if not more. His smile was pearly white, is there a god of dentistry or something, because everyone here seemed to have _perfect teeth_. Aaron's teeth were pretty in line as well, but this was ridiculous. He was wearing a robe as well; less showy than Jefferson's, though a robe nonetheless. Was Aaron staring again? He blinked twice just to make sure he didn't seem... y'know. 

"And you brought a mortal with you as well! Why?" Alexander folded his arms and Aaron's eyes immediately darted away trying to avoid confrontation. 

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Kissing up to George, maybe? Run along then, George won't suck his own cock." Thomas leers, earning a glare from Hamilton. Thank god that glare wasn't directed at Aaron, became Alexander's eyes just might shoot him through a wall. 

But then, Alexander turns away from Jefferson, clearly deeming him not worthy of his time. This angered Thomas quite a bit. The thing Aaron didn't expect Alexander to do, however, was sashay over him, his brow arched all the way there. 

Aaron stood up straighter, yet it still didn't seem to alter the one-inch difference in height. A smile spreads Alexander's lips at Aaron's effort to appear taller. Aaron puffs out his chest to appear stronger in stature, which makes Alexander giggle a bit. He has a _really_ amiable laugh. 

"He's cute." Alexander smiles, and Aaron says nothing in reply. He didn't understand why all these gods thought that he was so 'cute'. Aaron didn't like that word. Cute. He preferred _ruggishly dashing_ , or _handsome rapscallion_ , though 'cute' would have to do for the time being. "Thank you..." Aaron replies, a small confused smile curving his lips. 

"I can see why you brought him up here, now. He's... amusing. Quite the shame you found him first." Aaron apparently had no say in going up a few thousand feet on top of a _goddamn cloud_. Were all the gods this self-righteous and confident? 

"Yeah, well, I did." Thomas placed his hands on his hips, striking a pose that made his earrings dangle. "Come along, mortal-" 

"Aaron," Burr corrects. He could at _least_ call him by his name. "My name's Aaron." 

Thomas only snickers. Apparently using the most basic form of respect didn't apply to a god when talking to a mortal. Whatever. He didn't care. 

Alexander yanks Aaron over to him, leaning in as if to whisper in his ear. "Watch out for him, he's _not_ what he seems. He tries to kill-" He's interrupted because Thomas snags his arm, rather swiftly dragging him to wherever Thomas intended on going. 

Aaron's mind bubbled with perplexedness. _What does Thomas try to kill?_ Mortals? If he wanted to kill Aaron, he could've done it in the forest; no one was around, everything was bare. The perfect place to murder someone. 

But he didn't. 

_So what was he trying to kill?_

Aaron's thoughts came to a halt when Thomas stopped. 

"We're here!" Thomas singsonged. His voice was chipper again like he was back in the forest. 

The thoughts blossoming in his mind immediately wilted away when he saw where the god had taken him. It was a glistening waterfall. It's water was practically clear, just tinged with blue. Orchids and other flowers grew in the grassy areas just barely touching the water. The waterfall itself was beautiful, the splashing water creating a humid mist, making it seem supernatural. Which it probably was, judging where he was. 

"You took me to a... waterfall?" Aaron asks. Thomas nodded in reply. "Why?" 

"What, do mortals not go swimming?" Thomas questions, his brow rising in anticipation. 

"No, no, we swim. Just not when you're desperately looking for someone and you need to return home." Aaron snips, sarcasm jumping in his voice. 

"Tch, tch, tch." Thomas begins, a smirk playing his lips open once more. "You're so _tense,_ Aaron. Plus, the deal was that'd you come and stay with me for awhile. We'll find Bellamy." He eases out. Aaron was honestly conflicted. The two sides of him were arguing. He didn't know what to say. 

After a bit, Aaron spoke again, finding a perfect excuse. "I didn't bring any swim wear." He shrugs, his eyes averting away from Jefferson when his smirk widens. 

"So?" Was all Thomas responded, creating a tremendous flush on Aaron's face. Was he suggesting that they swam _naked?_

"Thomas, I-" 

"Don't be shy. It's nothing I haven't seen before, surely. It's common to swim unclothed around here, and besides, the water is _much_ too hot to leave your clothes on. C'mon, how often do you get a chance to swim with a god?" Thomas wiggles his eyebrows. Aaron's blush held on his face like a freckle, and he didn't respond. 

"I'll pass on the getting naked." Aaron murmurs simply, proud of his self-control. 

"Suit yourself." Thomas hums, undoing his robe and- _oh my god._

Aaron was going to faint again. _No one_ should ever have that beautiful body. It's just illegal. Everything looked like it was sculpted by an angel, goddamnit. Aaron willed himself to not look at the man's penis. Don't look at the penis. Don't look at the penis. Don't look at the pe- yeah, this wouldn't work. Aaron allowed his eyes to go lower and he was _not_ disappointed. He was hung like a fucking _steed._ He was _perfect._ And suddenly, those incongruous, obscene thoughts came pouring in his mind like the waterfall just a few feet from them. It took Aaron a minute to calm his brain. 

"Like whatcha see, darlin'?" Thomas snarked, and Aaron just gaped. He _hated_ himself for gaping, but what else could someone _do_ in this situation? 

"L-lets... just go swimming." Aaron averted the conversation as fast as humanly possible, making Thomas snicker again. Aaron toed off his shoes and socks, practically storming into the water. 

Thomas shrugged, a smile knowingly plastered on his face like a plaque. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O H T H O M A S I N T E N S I F I E S 
> 
> Follow my tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	5. Never Trust The Pretty Ones

Tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep forest, resting on top of a mighty cloud, lied the beautiful haven for the gods that is America. A small walking distance from the entrance sat a beautiful waterfall, where Aaron Burr nervously sat in, arms stuck in a fold.

Aaron decided not to think about the handsome god swimming around in a frolicsome manner. If you don't look, you won't blush. Aaron told himself, and for a while, it worked. But Jefferson was right, the water was burning. His clothes stuck to him like honey sticks to a bee's hive. But he didn't care, he wasn't going to take them off. Nope. Not here. Not now.

Thomas waded his way over to Aaron, and he finally realized how tall the guy was. He was like... 6'3". It wasn't even funny. Aaron was a little shorter than that of the average height (5'6"), but he felt like he was miles below Jefferson when he loomed above him.

"So, that's it? I take you to a magic waterfall, and you're just gonna mope?" Thomas questions, though despite his words, he sounds rather amused.

"Woah, Woah, Woah. This is magic? What kind of magic?" Aaron flusters, he was scared now. What if this water could kill someone?

"Relax, I didn't lure you into certain death, or anything dangerous. Actually, it'll help you find Bellamy and get home to... what's her name... oh! Sally."

Aaron's eyes widened when he mentioned his little sister. If this water could help him find Bellamy and get home to his probably terrified sister than it was definitely worth drinking. He decides that being skeptical about this would be useless, judging that everything he had been suspicious turned out true. So why not this? Aaron cupped his hands together, and scooped up the sparkling liquid, pouring it into Aaron's mouth and swallowing it.

Suddenly, a rush goes through Aaron's body, and it takes Aaron a minute to process everything. He snaps his eyes shut, and when he opened them, he gazes in Thomas' deep brown eyes. His stomach began to flutter restlessly. He felt in love.

"Oh, yeah, I might've bent the truth just _a bit._ It turns out that whoever drank from this waterfall, falls in love with the first person they see. Whoopsie!" He didn't sound sorry at all. He sounded like this was a plan of his all along, but Aaron couldn't do anything about it. All his hardheadedness and intelligence had been substituted for love. Undeniable love.

"I'm sorry, baby." Thomas cooed, an almost malicious smile growing on his face. "We all make mistakes, right?" Only this definitely incidental. But Aaron obviously didn't care, he was too in love.

"I know, Thomas." Aaron swooned. If the real Aaron could see himself now, he would've upchucked his lunch.

"Hey, baby. Could you do me a teeny, tiny, favor~?" Thomas mock-pleads, but Aaron found it to be genuine. Especially since he said the word baby, which made Aaron swoon once more.

"Anything!" Aaron nods, excitedly. Thomas laughs and cups Burr's cheek and strokes it with his thumb, which coaxes a purr from Aaron.

"I need you to... kill Alexander for me."

Aaron's eyes widened. "Alexander? Why him? Why can't you do that yourself?" Even though Aaron was under a magic spell, you couldn't ever, ever take away his curiosity. It just... couldn't be done.

"Alexander and I have a... feud." Thomas' tone darkens when he mutters the word 'feud'. "And if I killed him, I would be hunted down by all the other gods in America. You wouldn't want that, would you?" Thomas' voice purposely wavered to seem like he needed to be pitied, the irredeemable bastard.

Of course, Aaron didn't notice nor care. "N-no! Of course not!" Aaron replies, holding up his hands. Thomas laughs again and pulls Aaron closer to him, making the lovesick man flush.

"Good." Thomas pecked his cheek, a tender gesture... or at least it would be. "So, you're gonna need to stab him in the heart. Specifically the heart. Everywhere else won't kill him. Got it?" Aaron nods once more in reply, looking up at the god. Thomas' smirk returns once more, picking Aaron up. He laughs again when Burr wrapped his legs around Thomas' waist.

"I love you." Thomas lies, though it absolutely did not come as a lie to Aaron. "I love you, too!" Aaron squealed, a little louder than he probably should've. He didn't care one bit, however, because he was in _love._

Thomas stood there for a minute, teasing Aaron a bit by licking his lips and winking before Aaron couldn't take it anymore. He smashed his lips against Thomas' wrapping his arms around neck immediately after. Thomas hummed, satisfied with his work, and kissed him back. Aaron's tongue explored the god's mouth, yearning each and every inch. Thomas replied with a flick of his tongue, earning a small mewl from Aaron. Once Thomas broke the kiss (which earned a petulant groan from Aaron), he sauntered him over to the waterfall, pinning him against the rocks. Aaron giggled blissfully until it faded into a gasp when Thomas latched onto his neck. The neck's always been Aaron's soft spot. Thomas lavishly licks and kisses all over Aaron's neck, leaving the mortal a panting, writhing mess.

"Take off your shirt." Thomas demanded, to which Burr happily complied, yanking off his shirt and throwing it onto the grass. Thomas' eyebrows shoot up when he got a glimpse of Aaron's fit chest, now glistening because of the droplets of water skidding down his toned abs. He then took a nipple into his mouth, earning a lewd moan.

While all of this was going on, someone was watching, a frown parading his lips. He then hid behind a thick tree stump, processing everything that was going on. "Jefferson... that son of a bitch!" Alexander whisper-yelled, careful to not be heard. He knew it. He knew Jefferson was trying to kill him. And getting a mortal to make him look innocent? That's just cruel. He needed to get him out of his trance...but how?

Wait a second... he knew exactly how to get him out of this dilemma. The goddess of love! Genius!

There was one falter in the plan, however. The goddess of love wasn't very fond of Alexander at the time. At all.

But no matter, surely she would understand.

They used to be married, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,, it turns out thomas is a bad guy?? yea don't ever trust his lying ass
> 
> follow my tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	6. The (Sorta) Calm before the Storm

Past a meadow, tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep forest, lied the beautiful gates of America. Inside these gates, a worried god sped from one place to the other, looking for his friends to help him out. 

Alexander, practically wheezing for air, continued to run until he found the gods he was looking for. "John! Herc! Gilbert!" He heaved out in between breaths, two of the gods quickly turned their heads in worry, while the third nonchalantly spun around, a tipsy glint in his eyes... he was drunk. 

"What? What's happening?" Hercules queries, raising an eyebrow at the heaving god. 

"Jefferson's trying to kill me..." Alexander took a deep breath, recomposing himself and smoothing out his hair. "...again." 

Lafayette folded his arms and his eyebrows shot up skeptically. "Alexander, Thomas is simply playing with you. Despite his morbid sense of humor-" 

"No, Gil. Trust me on this one. It wasn't an 'accident' like last time." He began, putting air quotes around the word 'accident'. He may have fooled everyone in America with his panache, but he hasn't fooled Alexander. "He tricked a mortal into drinking from the waterfall, and now he's helplessly in love with the bitch. He'll do anything Jefferson says, and of course, he told him to kill _me_." 

"Whaaaaaaat? That's _crazy_ , dude." John slurred, his breath smelled like hard liquor. It made Alexander wince even from there. 

"John, can you manage to go a week without getting canned?" Hercules snickers, adjusting his bandana. 

"I'm the god of drinkers and partygoers, my dude. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't drink!" John hollered, pumping his fists in the air. 

"Anyways, I need you guys to help me out here." Alexander pleads. 

"Alexander, relax." Hercules smiles. "You aren't going to _die_ , and neither is the mortal. What do you need us to do?" 

Alexander let out a breath of relief, composing himself. "Okay, Hercules. I'm gonna need you to over to the waterfall and spy on Jefferson and the mortal. Track their every move, and let me know if they move from the waterfall, or if they're still..." Alexander paused, cringing at the memory. "...distracted." 

"What do you mean, 'distracted'?" Hercules questions and Alexander's wince returns when he murmurs: "You'll see." Nonetheless, Hercules nods in understanding. 

"Laf, I need you to go with him. Make sure that _nobody_ goes to the waterfall. Especially Madison. He will literally kill everyone in sight." Alexander explains, and Laf nods as well, a smile parading his lips. 

"Laurens, you're coming with me. You'll make me seem less pathetic when I confront Eliza." Alexander half-joked. John let out a belch before giving him a carefree thumbs up, a drunken sign that he understands. 

"Wait, how will we... um..." Lafayette pauses to think of the word. He wasn't exactly the greatest with English because before he was converted into a god, he lived in a land far, far away from here. Even after being a god for a few years, he's still a little rusty when it comes to bigger words. "...communicate! How will we communicate?" Lafayette finishes. 

"Oh that's easy." Alexander says, rummaging his satchel. His fingers laced around a smoother object, and he knew he found what he was looking for. He yanked out two shiny seashells and handed one to Herc. When everyone gave him looks of confusion, Alexander rolled his eyes. "They're magic. If you talk into it, I can hear you from the other end no matter how far away I am." He discloses, throwing the seashell up into the air and catching it. 

"...Alex... where did you get this?" Hercules asks, which was a fair question indeed. God knows where Alexander goes to find the crazy nick nacks he keeps in his satchel. 

"Oh, I stole them from a siren. That's a story for another time though." Alexander huffs, quickly changing the subject. "Alrighty! Let's go! This is my life on the line here! C'mon John." Alexander snags Laurens' freckled arm, yanking him over with the other two made their way over to the waterfall. 

"Woop! Vacation Time!" Laurens garbled. Alexander rolled his eyes playfully, a smile crossing his lips. Some humor before the storm would always be helpful. 

\--------------------- 

After god knows how long, they'd finally made it up towards The Schuyler Temple. John was soberer, Alexander was way more anxious, and they both were drastically, equally famished. Alexander warily reached for his seashell, huffing for air. "Lafayette, Mulligan how're you doing?" 

On the other end, an equally jaded voice spoke. "I. _hate_. you." The voice hissed, it was too low to be Lafayette's, so this must be Mulligan. 

"What'd I do to you, Herc?" Alexander questioned, and Hercules scoffed. "You know exactly what you did. When you said that they were 'distracted' you could've told me that they were _fucking_." He spat, and Alexander couldn't help but giggle. 

"I swear, I had to keep Lafayette from blowing our cover _too many times_." 

"Speaking of Lafayette, how is he doing? Did anyone go to the waterfall?" Alexander queries, and a laugh comes from the other end. 

"Trust me, Alexander. Nobody's going anywhere near here. Not with _those_ sounds coming from that mortal's mouth." Lafayette snorts. 

"Okay, good. Make sure it stays that way." Alexander concludes, shoving the shell back into his satchel and taking a deep breath. He wasn't sure he was ready to see Eliza again. 

The last time he saw her was just after Eliza found out that he had cheated on him, and her face had lost it's glow. She used to have a smile that lit up the room, and she probably still does-- it's just that Alexander only sees that on seldom occasion. He remembered when she just found out, the distraught look on her face, her cheeks hanging low in somber. She barely moved at all that day. All she'd seemed to do was stare at a flitting candle, happy memories surging through her head. She has felt absolutely helpless, and it was all his fault. 

But some time has changed, and Eliza was one of the kindest goddesses he'd ever met. Surely she wouldn't hold a grudge, that was much too beneath her. 

"Hey... you good?" Laurens murmurs and Alexander only nods, his eyes locked on the ground he was standing on. Alexander inhales one more time, realizing that Eliza and he were going to have to meet eventually. This was only necessary. 

Alexander marched up the temple stairs with a puffed out chest, and his head held high. John trailed along behind him. He knocked firmly on the door, as would someone with confidence... despite the fact this his heart was practically leaping out of his ribcage. 

A light tapping came from inside the room, a sign that someone was approaching the door. Soon enough, the door swung open to reveal the younger sister of Eliza, Peggy. Her playful smile was prominent on her face before she realized... this was Alexander. 

"OH HELL NO!" She shrieked, slamming the door before Alexander could get a word out. Alexander and John exchanged looks, and John simply just shrugs. 

The door swings open again, but instead of the youngest sister, a taller, older, more intimidating figure looms above him. Her curly hair was wrapped into a tight bun and her eyes danced restlessly with anger. Angelica Schuyler. 

"What is _you_ want?" She hisses, twice more venomous as that of Hercules'. Alexander's silver tongue was failing him, as he barely managed to choke out a whimper. 

"Well? Speak up!" The older woman reinstates. Peggy stands behind her, glaring at him. It was with less poison than that of Angelica's, but it still objectified him nonetheless. 

"Heh, long time no see?" Alexander smiles, sweat practically pouring down his face like rainfall. Angelica's brows furrowed to make her look somehow even angrier than she already seemed. She raised her hand up to Alexander's face, decking him firmly. John stood there, his eyes wide, yet silent. He didn't want to get clipped either. 

"Okay, I deserved that." Hamilton mumbles, caressing his throbbing cheek. That mark would probably not leave anytime soon. 

"Damn right you did! What gives you the _audacity_ to even think about coming here again?" Angelica snarls. 

"I..." Alexander begins, gulping. "I need to speak to Eliza." 

Angelica raises her eyebrow, before starting to giggle. Her giggle grows louder and more fervent until it morphs into a full on laugh. A harsh, cold, laugh. "You _really_ think that I'm going to let you do that? She's finally happy again, and I don't need _you_ to screw that up." 

"Please, Angelica. I know I haven't been the best husband, and I'm sorry. I'm absolutely sorry. But I need to speak to her. It's urgent." 

"I think you can wait. It's not like a matter of life and death or anything-" 

"Actually, it is. If I don't talk to Eliza, either I'm going to die, or an innocent mortal is going to die. So may I talk to her, please?" Alexander says firmly, making Angelica widen her eyes quite a bit. 

"Say anything rude to her, and you'll be dead before you know it." Angelica growls, and Alexander nods. Angelica backs away from the door, letting Alexander in. 

Alexander sauntered in the beautiful temple, his eyes darting to the top of the staircase. And there she was... 

...Elizabeth Schuyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> r.i.p. alexander
> 
> for updates on new fics or this fic follow my tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	7. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuc k i was so excited to write this chapter i finished it in a day
> 
>  
> 
> P R E P A R E F O R I M P A C T

In a temple on top of a cloud, tens of thousands feet above a deep, deep forest, right beside a peaceful meadow close to a village on the top of a hill, was two gods. One slightly quivering with anxiousness, the other seemingly calm. 

"Hello, Alexander." Eliza says, her tone unrecognizable, though in a manner, soft and kind. 

"Hi, Eliza." Alexander replies, his eyes gazing at the floor to avoid her bright blue gaze. 

The goddess slowly descends down the stairs, her face blank, it was a bit weird. Alexander always needed a grasp on emotions so he could know what to say. Though even if he didn't know the emotions to whom he was speaking, he would still talk anyway. And that's when he usually starts to ramble. 

"What're you doing here?" She murmurs, her voice deep. 

"Um... I need your help." Alexander pleads, already starting to sound needy. 

"No." Eliza put simply, folding her arms. "You must have some nerve coming back here and wanting something from me." She finished, harshness tingeing her tone. It sent shivers down Alexander's spine-- and not the good kind. 

"Eliza, you don't understand-" 

"No, _you_ don't understand. Do you know how long it took me to stop crying every single night? A _very_ long time. And now you finally come back, not with an apology, not with your condolences, but you _want_ something." Eliza spat out, clenching her fists. 

"Eliza, I'm so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry. I know what I did was wrong and you were so kind to me for all my life, and I don't deserve you and--" 

"Stop!" Eliza demanded, silencing the god with only one syllable. She sighs deeply before beginning to speak. "Alexander, stop. Stop rambling. If helping you gives you any personal gain, I don't want to be apart of it for now." 

"Eliza. If you don't help me either I or some innocent mortal will _die._ " Alexander finally manages out. And then, the room was silent. Everything was caught in a net of sheer quiet. The only thing to be heard was Alexander's shaky breaths. Laurens wasn't speaking, Angelica wasn't speaking, not even Peggy let out a single peep. 

"You'll... what?" Eliza's tone softened, and her fists slowly bloomed open from their original tight grip. Her eyes, once replete with rage, drained out with nothing left but a soft, caring glint in her eye. 

"Some helpless mortal or I will die if you don't help me." Alexander repeats, quieter now that he has her attention. 

"How? How does that happen? Surely you have the wit-" 

"It's not _about_ wit. We're dealing with magic here. Jefferson tricked a mortal into drinking from the waterfall, and now he's helplessly in love with him. He'll do anything he says, and of course, the prick told him to kill me. I don't want to kill any mortals because that would make me look like a heartless creature-" 

"You're not very far off." Angelica grumbles, and Eliza sends her a glare. Angelica holds up her hands as if to say 'hey, it's true'. 

"Anyway," Alexander begins once more. "If I kill the mortal, my reputation is even _more_ down the drain, plus it's cruel. And if the mortal kills me, I'll be dead, Jefferson's let off the hook, and the mortal will have to pay for the consequences of the crime he didn't even consciously do. You see my dilemma here?" Alexander explains, and Eliza nods. 

"Wait a second. What does this mortal look like? Brown eyes? Deep brown skin? Very short hair? About ye high?" Eliza gestures. Alexander nods, surprised. "Yeah! How'd you know?" He genuinely questions, seriously, was Eliza magic? 

Her tone darkened. "He ate from the tree. I give those mortals an abundance of plants and fruit and they eat from the _one tree_ I specifically tell them not to. Do you know why that _is_ , Alexander?" Hamilton felt like he was shriveling in his spot. _He_ was the reason all of this was happening? If Alexander stayed faithful, Eliza wouldn't have cried for days and days, thus the tree wouldn't grow. If the tree didn't grow, the mortal wouldn't have eaten from it, and Jefferson wouldn't have found him. All of this led back to Alexander, and he's felt worse than he's ever been. He majorly fucked up. 

"Unbelievable." Eliza groans, rubbing her temples. "Even after we split I _still_ have to make sure you don't get killed." Alexander solemnly scratches his arm, feeling utterly horrible. 

"Eliza... I'm so, so sorry." He repeats, and Eliza gives him a look that probably meant 'I know'. 

"Fine. I'll help." She huffs out, her hands landing on her hips. Alexander was about to free a sea of 'thank you's when Eliza simply said: "Save it." And that he did. Eliza snagged a purple vile of some potion or something, sauntering down the steps. 

"This vile can free a person from any spell, and that includes the waterfall's spell." Alexander tried to smile if she would in return, but that didn't work. She seemed to acquire a stoic shell while he was away. 

Alexander expected for Eliza to hand over the bottle, but she still seemed to hang onto it. "Eliza, are you gonna hand over the vile, or..." 

Eliza scoffs simply. "No. I'm holding onto this." 

"Well how will we be able to use it?" Alexander questions and Eliza looks flabbergasted as if the answer was obvious. 

"I'm coming with you." She utters, and Alexander's eyes widen. 

"You can't come! This is dangerous!" Alexander stutters, and Eliza raises an eyebrow. 

"I am a _motherfucking_ goddess. I think I can handle a lovesick mortal and the god of beauty." Eliza discloses, firmly. Why did Alexander ever cheat on this amazing woman? 

Angelica pounds her chest, smiling at her sister. "I'm wearing off on her." She smiles, earning a snort from Eliza. 

John leans over to Alexander, whispering in his ear. "If that mortal doesn't kill you, she probably will." He hushed, and Alexander elbowed John in reply to his comment. 

"So, are we going? Or are you all scared?" Eliza straightened. Alexander and John fumble out some words, and Eliza just rolls her eyes, ambling outside. The other two manage to stumble out of the temple, closing the massive door behind them. 

"So do you know where Thomas and the mortal are now?" Eliza asks, and Alexander nods. 

Alexander reaches in his bag for the seashell, successfully pulling out the item. "Hey, Herc. You still following the target?" 

"Heh, about that... I lost Lafayette." Herc whispers, his nervousness bulging in his voice. 

"Herc... you WHAT?!" Alexander yelled into the seashell. 

"What'd he do?" John murmured. "He lost Lafayette..." Alexander replied quickly. John snatched the phone from him, hollering at the top of his lungs. "HOW DID YOU LOSE LAFAYETTE?!" 

"Lower your voice!" Hercules replies in a hushed tone. "I was still spying on the two while they were..." Hercules shivers loud enough for the seashell to even pick up. " _...doing that._ I eventually got tired of looking at... that. So I turned to talk to Laf. But it turns out he wasn't there!" The frazzled man explains, and Alexander hums in reply. 

"Don't worry, we know exactly what to do. Be right there." Alexander feigns calm, placing the shell back in his satchel. He then takes a deep breath. "What the flying fuck are we gonna do?" Alexander shrieks. 

"Well, that's easy." Eliza shrugs, smiling for the first time today. "We _find_ him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't i say bamf eliza? ur gonna get some bamf eliza alright
> 
> tumblr: chaosandaaronburr


	8. Jefferson, You Bitch! (Pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner, I was on vacation :000
> 
> anyways, i'm back, and please enjoy chapter 8!

Past a meadow, tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep, forest, on top of a cloud, sat a gushing waterfall. Three gods paraded themselves over to the waterfall, each of them ready to beat Thomas' ass.

When they made it to the waterfall, they were surprised to see that Thomas wasn't there. Neither was the mortal. But Hercules was, with an inconsolable look of trauma look in his eyes. They ran up to him, bombarding him with questions. "Where did they go?" "Did you see where Thomas went?" "What did the mortal do?"

Hercules just shivered for a few moments until Eliza snapped her fingers, causing the god to inherently reboot.

"Herc, are you okay?" Eliza hastily questions. Hercules nods, though his eyes still seemed wary.

"Alexander." Mulligan fumed. "You owe me _big time_. Do you know how much fucking they did in that waterfall? A lot. And I had to watch _every second of it_ to make sure that they didn't get away."

Alexander did his best to bite down his laughter, and it worked, for a little bit. "Herc... I'm so sorry."

"The mortal is _literally_ the loudest moaner I've heard... ever. He was gonna wake up Washington--"

"Now is _not_ the time." Eliza asserted, folding her arms. "Herc, did you see where they went?"

"Yeah, they went into the forest. I'll show you where I saw them heading." Hercules agrees, earning a nod from Eliza. "Great. Alexander and I follow Thomas and the mortal, and you and John can go search for Gilbert. You still have the shells, so we can keep in touch." Eliza devised, and everyone else approves of her plan. Hercules points to where he saw them headed, and the four of them split up.

A few minutes into their endeavor, Alexander reaches for the shell to break the awkward silence between Eliza and him. "How are you guys doing?"

"No luck..." Hercules grumbles on the other end before a more chipper voice replaces it. "Hey Alex, I was thinkin' we should have a name for this mission, like 'Operation: Save Mortal's Ass'."

When Eliza and Alexander both rolled their eyes, John continued to chat. "Too obvious? Okay, how about 'Operation: Sex and Death'?" 

"Honestly, If I hear the word 'sex' one more time I _will_ puke all over you, John." Hercules groans, earning another almost-laugh from Alexander. 

While the three of them were joking and talking about code names, Eliza's ears tuned into a rustle in the bushes. Someone was there, and she knew it. "Alexander! Turn off the seashell, someone else is here." The Schuyler discloses, causing Alexander to lower his voice and place the shell in his satchel once more. The two crept behind a thick tree, listening intently for another noise. 

"Fuck, Thomas. I don't think I can _walk_ after that." A voice appealed. The voice was smooth and in a lovelorn tone... it was the mortal. 

Thomas and the mortal were literally a few feet away from them. Alexander wanted to tell Eliza, but she chided him in a hushed manner. He's guessing she already knew. 

"What's the plan?" Alexander inquiries and Eliza shushes him again before coming up with a plan. 

"Okay, you distract Jefferson. It doesn't matter how... just figure out a way. I'll wrangle the mortal and get him to drink the vile." Eliza calculates. She sounds as if she'd been reiterating this plan in her head all day. Alexander nods and exhales, and Eliza does the same. 

"On the count of three, we jump out." Eliza huffs. "One... two... thre--" 

"There will be no need for _that._ " A sinister voice dictated. Jefferson. 

Eliza and Alexander twisted their heads upward, and there they were. Thomas Jefferson and the mortal leaning helplessly beside him... and oh my _gods_ the mortal looked wrecked. His knees were bucked and quivering as if he were about to collapse. His shoulders and neck were trailed with bites and hickeys, and his arms were wrapped tightly around Thomas' arm to keep himself standing. Luckily, they both had clothed themselves up, so they didn't have to see what Hercules saw. 

Alexander and Eliza exchanged looks before Alexander leaped onto Jefferson. A surprised screech escaped Thomas' mouth, just before Alexander slapped him straight across the face, as Angelica did to him. Jefferson snickers in reply before he began to attack back. 

As the two were bickering and punching Eliza took haste on grabbing the mortal, to which he yelled out in surprise. "Okay, whatever your name is. I'm gonna need you to drink this vile for me, m'kay?" The mortal didn't say anything for a moment, and then his brows furrowed. "Are you and him trying to kill me?!" He responds. 

"No, no, no. We don't want to hurt you. You're under a spell that makes you fall in love with Thomas, and he's bending you to his will. This will free you from it!" Eliza cajoled, and the mortal's confusion only blossomed. 

"You guys are insane!" The mortal shrieked, wriggling under Eliza's grip. Eliza groans, struggling to hold the active mortal down. "Look, could you please just drink the damn vile?" Eliza jeers and Aaron shakes his head firmly. "I'm not drinking _anything_. Now let us go!" Aaron blurted, writhing all the more. 

"I swear to the gods if this mortal doesn't cooperate..." Eliza mumbles under her breath before shifting the conversation. "Alexander! Are you okay?" 

Jefferson had Hamilton pinned to the ground, howling in protest. "Could be doing better. You?" He says, oddly calm for his predicament. Hamilton socks Thomas in the nose, earning a loud snarl from the towering god. 

"You _motherfucker_." Jefferson swore, and Alexander gulps in reply. Jefferson raises his fist, preparing for a fatal blow. Alexander covers his face, hoping that the hit wouldn't cause too much damage. Just before Thomas would make the attack, Eliza swoops in, yanking him by his hair. Jefferson practically flips backward, a sheepish smile growing on his face when he sees the towering goddess before him. Eliza grimaces, folding her arms and snapping a branch from a tree. 

"The _only_ person who's allowed to beat my ex-husband is _me_." Eliza leers, holding the stick to the god's neck. Jefferson's eyes dart to the branch being held at his neck, before laughing out loud. The laughing confused Eliza, causing her to inch the branch closer to Thomas' neck. Thomas still continued to laugh sinisterly. 

"Oh, Eliza. You've always been a _feisty_ one." Jefferson digresses, and Eliza scowls in reply. 

"Look. You might as well give it up. We've got you pinned, and the mortal isn't going anywhere. You're not going to kill me." Alexander directs from behind Eliza. Somehow the comment makes Thomas laugh even louder. Eliza and Alexander trade confused looks. What on America was so funny? 

"Oh, Alexander. Who said I was going to kill you?" The god inquiries. A look of despondency flashed on Alexander's face. He was _sure_ that he overheard him at the waterfall. "As for the mortal..." Jefferson only breaks into laughter again, and Alexander turns his head to where the mortal was. Wait... what? He was gone? 

"How in the name of Washington does he move _that_ fast? Wasn't he just limping?!" Eliza questions loudly, and Jefferson only shrugs. "People do crazy things when they're in _love._ " Thomas winks and both Eliza and Alexander clench their fists in rage. 

"Now if you excuse me, I must be going." Thomas chirps, and with the snap of his fingers, he was gone. 

The two sat in the eerily quiet forest until Alexander broke the silence. "I'm so confused." 

"Don't be. Jefferson's just playing with your mind. He wants to confuse you." Eliza huffs, getting up and dusting herself off. 

"That's the _least_ of our worries. Eliza, now not only Laf is lost, we have a pining mortal and a snarky, psychopathic god on the loose. What in the _hell_ are we going to have to do to find them?" 

Eliza sat there, clearly stumped. "I've got nothing." 

Alexander pensively leaned against the tree, looking up at the bristling leaves to calm him. Suddenly, a squawking crow flies onto a tree branch, perching restfully. Alexander gazed upon the bird for a few minutes before an idea popped into his brain. It was a dangerous idea, but it was the only one he had. "Eliza, I've got an idea." 

Eliza shrugs, letting out another huff. "I'm all ears." 

" _Him._ " Is all Alexander has to say, and Eliza practically leaps off the ground. 

"You're completely bonkers. You're gonna get us killed. Do you _know_ how dangerous it is to get to him? And even if you do make it, the likeliness of surviving is fucking _slim_." Eliza marvels. 

"Do you have any other suggestions?" Alexander raises an eyebrow, and Eliza falls silent. He takes that as a 'no'. 

"Alrighty then. Down to the underworld we go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay it's pretty obvious,, but who do you think is 'him' ;;;;0
> 
> follow my tumblr for updates and shitposts: chaosandaaronburr


	9. Hello! Welcome to Hell! Would you Like a Cookie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK AND UPDATING AGAIN!!

Behind a village on a hill, past a meadow, tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep forest, on top of a cloud, in another deep forest past a magical waterfall, two determined gods rushed past tree by tree, heading for the edge of the forest. 

Once the two wayfarers finally made it to the forest's verge, they gazed down at the gaping, interminable abyss that lied before them. 

The jump to the underworld. 

Only those with great courage were said to even take the jump, and an even lesser amount was said to survive. The idea of all the brutal ways you could die by jumping into the abyss settled into the two god's heads, leaving a fearful indent on their tones. 

"So," Alexander gulps, the jump seeming to increase only by looking at it. His knees began to tremble. "who's jumping first?" 

When he didn't hear a reply, he looked to his side, only to find that Eliza wasn't there. "Eliza?" Alexander calls out, moments before a thought came to him. 

Alexander's eyes dart to the frighteningly large gap to see Eliza plummeting gracefully downward until she was eaten by the darkness, gone from view. Alexander's brows furrow and he crosses his arms. "Of course she already jumped..." He grumbles. 

"Okay Alexander, you got this." He cheers to himself. "On the count of three, you _will_ leap into the underworld." Alexander laments those words immensely, taking an even more comical gulp. 

"One..." The tip of his sandal dangles above of the pit of perpetual darkness. 

"Two..." Glands of sweat pour down by the second, inducing Alexander with fear. Would he make it? Would he just become another droplet to the sea of skeletons that forever remains in the underworld? 

"Three." Alexander didn't jump. 

"Goddamnit me!" Alexander groans, stomping on the ground. 

Unfortenately and fortunately for him, he managed to stomp on a pebble. This particular pebble decided to be a little bitch and caused Alexander to lose his balance. 

"Woa- HOLY! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" 

Before Alexander knew it, he was falling into the clutches of the underworld. His surroundings rapidly became darker until everything was coated in inky black nothingness. He continued to plummet in this state, screaming and yowling until his voice went sour. Finally, the atmosphere became visible, but nothing like it was up on the surface. Everything was tinted by a bright green light, due to the green cauldrons placed impromptu around the hellhole. 

When he finally made it to the ground, he fell straight into Eliza's hands, as if she knew _exactly_ where he would fall. _God_ , if he was still _with_ this woman. 

Unfortenately, reality hit him hard when she dropped him. "Ouch! Rude." He snorts, getting up and dusting himself off. 

The two looked glanced around the underworld without moving a single muscle. It was like... a really fancy cave. With an outrageously large amount of bones piled up everywhere. Razor sharp tremors hung from the stone ceilings, and among every other tremor was a vibrant chandelier, alight with green flames. On the walls lied all the souls of forgotten and unjustifiable deaths, swaying droningly in an obviously lifeless fashion. To make sure they don't escape, the souls were trapped with some sort of magical barrier; or so it looked like. Alexander continued to survey the obscure area until a surprisingly chipper voice chirps for his attention. 

"Hello! Welcome to hell! Would you like a cookie?" A short, portly man smiles. "They're made from the blood of innocent children, the sweat and tears of good men, the ashes of fallen kingdoms, and the organs of a newborn child. Boss's favorite." 

Alexander and Eliza exchange horrified and disgusted looks before slowly shaking their heads, a firm 'no'. 

"Well what can I help you with?" The man queries. 

"Well, _John Adams_." Eliza began, reading from his gilded name tag. "We're here to see your boss." 

"Oh! His room is two rights and a left from here, and you can just walk right in and say what you want to say! That is if you don't get annihilated by him." 

"We probably will, judging the terms me and him on..." Alexander whispers to Eliza, earning him a hard nudge on the arm. 

"Thank you! That'll be all." Eliza turns, flashing the man a smile before dragging Alexander in the order of John's directions until they reacted a superbly long, luminous black door. 

Alexander took a deep breath, slicking back his hair. "Alright, let's go." 

The two shove the door open, showcasing the cross-legged god of death in brilliantly green lighting. His smirk never seemed to fade from his mind, and his eyes always dwelt with a glint of darkness. 

_"Alexander Hamilton."_ He smooths out. 

_"James Madison."_ Alexander replies, narrowing his eyes quite considerably. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Madison slinks out of his throne, a suave, intimidating vibe coming from him with each move he takes. Even when he bites into that horror cookie. 

Alexander sighs. "I need your help," Alexander grumbles, a pout starting to bulge. 

"Those are some of the sweetest words I've ever heard you say. Why don't you repeat them for me?" James taps his nose lightly, a tease. Fucking _shit_ , it's been forever since they'd talked but he still knows how to push all of Alexander's buttons almost effortlessly. 

Alexander growls, his teeth baring in vexation. "I. Need. Your. Help." The firebrand hisses. 

"And _why_ in America would I help you?" He chirps, similar to Adam's, but while his was childish mirth, Madison's voice was spotted with malice. "Weren't _you_ the one that called my husband, and I quote, 'An easily corrupted, cold-hearted, jerkoff-son-of-a-bitch, lovey-dovey, sex-crazed, maniacal, possibly homicidal, freak who should never be allowed to see the light of day and can choke on your left nut'?" 

"Well he married you, so--" 

"Cut to the chase or I'll do it for you." Madison threatens. 

"Thomas is trying to kill me." Alexander says simply, and Madison flat out _laughs_. 

"Good! Maybe I'll get a little more peace and quiet with you out of commission. Now get out. This doesn't affect me at all." James replies, a sharp smile piercing his lips. 

"Sure that doesn't concern you, but this does. Thomas is cheating on you." Alexander finishes. 

Madison drops the cookie. 

"He's... what?" Madison leers, his tone lowering dramatically. His eyes filled with unadulterated rage. A ball of luminous green fire ignited in his hand, ready to aim at Alexander. 

That is, until Eliza unscathes her sword, holding it firmly at Madison's hand. "Now remember, if you kill Alexander, you'll have Washington as well as a throng of gods beating down your back. Wouldn't want that, would we?" 

Madison ponders it a bit, until the inevitably vanishes. James folds his arms, his obsidian black robe swaying. "Explain." Is all he manages. 

"Okay so, your husband, Thomas, found a mortal on earth. He scooped up the mortal, took him to the waterfall at the brink of the forest, where the mortal fell madly in love with him. And they like, totally banged. Like _woah_ mama did they bang. They scarred my friend Hercules, and I'm pretty sure the moans almost woke up Washington and-" 

"GET ON WITH IT!" Madison silenced, his fists tightening with fire. His whole body was consumed by a perpetual surge of anger. He was like a mug of beer that has been poured into until it finally bubbles over. But like... a really scary mug of beer. The sight caused Eliza to grab her sword, and Alexander to take a few steps back. 

James Madison took a few deep breaths, and let out a loud cough, calming him down. "Right, right. I'm cool, I'm fine. It's good. Continue." 

"...Right." Alexander peeps. Man, he forgot about Madison's temper. He couldn't believe they actually got along at one point. Of course, that was before he was the reaper of the dead, and that sorta took the life out of him. "So basically, he's in a trance, and Jefferson told him to kill me. So now there's a mortal that'll do anything to kill me, and I don't want to hurt any mortal because I'll look like a soulless sicko. Kinda like yourself." 

"You know I can just slice your head off your neck and _not_ help you." Madison sneers, his tone not playful in the slightest. 

"Okay, okay. Just... help me. I'll do anything." 

"Anything?" Madison's tone curves, into a more snarky, playful tone. "Fine. I'll help you find my husband. But I have a few conditions. One, don't tell anyone I'm helping you. If people see me, lie. Two, I expect a promotion or upgrade of some sort. You're in kahoots with Washington, so I expect an outcome. And Three, when we find Jefferson-- which we will-- turn around." A wicked smile curved his lips at the last part. 

"Turn around? Why?" Alexander questions. 

"Deniability." Madison replied. What the hell was he going to do with Thomas? "So... do we have a deal?" 

Alexander ponders for a bit, before nodding his head firmly. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so madison's here now..............
> 
> boy oh boy oh boy
> 
> tumblr: duckybane
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated!!


	10. The 'Cheated On' Club

Past a village on a hill, through a meadow, tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep forest, past a waterfall through _another_ forest, then and then down an interminable jump into the underworld, lied our three gods. 

"So how do we get out of this hellhole?" Eliza questions, her hands landing on her hips. 

Madison only replies with a smirk. "My favorite part of the job." Madison leads them to a stable that seemed perpetual in length, each little compartment housing the soul of a horse. 

"Are those... horses?" Alexander queries, and Madison scoffs. 

"Not only mortals and gods die, you know. I have to deal with _all_ of the dead. It's like a fucking zoo down here." James grumbles, his arms folding before mounting onto a large steed. "Now come on, hurry up, chop chop." He claps, and Eliza hops onto a horse, Alexander landing behind her. The two horses stand there in silence. 

"How to do get them to move--" 

"Just yank their reins." James groans. "Like this," Madison grabs the horse's reins, pulling them firmly. The horse lets out a triumphant neigh, hurtling up from where they had fallen until James wasn't visible anymore. 

"Okay, I'm just gonna say this now, I think Madison is trying to kill us." Alexander blatantly reminds, earning an eye roll from Eliza. 

"I know. It's kinda hard not to get an 'i want you do die' vibe from the ruler of hell." She snorts. "Are you ready?" 

"Can I just... hold on to your shoulders? For like... protection?" Alex questions, and despite how awkward the moment was, Eliza found it a little sweet. "Sure. Go any lower and I'm throwing you off the horse. Now, ready?" 

"I'm ready." 

Eliza yanked the horse's reins with all her might, earning a bellowing cry from the horse. Before they knew it, the undead horse was galloping at unmeasurable speed, so fast that involuntary tears were pulled out of their eyes so they couldn't see. The horse made it to the top in a matter of seconds, where Madison was leaning smugly against a tree, a flower in hand. 

"Enjoy the ride?" He teases, calmly wafting the smell of a carnation. 

"I think my lungs are in my foot after that." Eliza murmurs, her hair sticking straight up as if it had a life of its own. 

"That's better than the usual reaction." James snarks, watching the flower burn in his fingertips. "Lord, I've forgotten how colorful the surface was... because you know, I've been sentenced for eternity to be the ruler of the underworld by Washington. But I'm not bitter." He was very bitter. 

"Stop trying to guilt trip me." Alexander says, trying to get used to flat ground for a moment. "Now where are we headed." 

Madison snaps his fingers and a small mirror materializes into his grasp. "Show me Thomas." He calmly addresses, and the mirror obeyed. Thomas was depicted talking quite closely with the mortal on a lavish, gold-laced bed. James Madison clenches his fist, a sign that anyone around him should probably step back, and they did. 

"Madison... are you okay...?" Eliza questions, reaching for his sword once more. 

"That's our bed... and he brought some _ignorant_ mortal that he _just_ met..." James's sandals begin to tossel with light green strands of flame. He was about to blow. "...IN MY BED?!" 

James' entire body was like one giant candle wick of fire. His eyes, the most furious of him, were like a sea of anger, tossing and turning with no sight of an end. Everything near him caught aflame, creating a ring of fire and wilt from where he stood. Green balls of fire flew everywhere, burning the tuffs of a few trees. Alexander and Eliza cover their ears as an unholy scream from James shocks through the forest, blowing everything backward like an amazingly strong wind. 

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Eliza yells over Hurricane Madison. 

"JAMES IS BLOWING!" 

It was like standing at the heart of a catastrophic tornado. James' anger seemed to rip through the entire land of America. 

"HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!" Eliza screeches, attempting to be heard, her voice breaks trying. 

"YOU JUST LET IT PASS!" Alexander replies. 

After a few more seconds of green fiery anarchy, everything stops. James collapses on his back, leaning against a tree that was burnt from his own outburst. Not a word escapes his mouth. 

Alexander and Eliza look at James with pity. They've never seen him so grief-stricken. Hell, they've never seen him in any emotions besides pettiness and smugness. Alexander huffs out a breath, and Eliza finally realizes what she should do. She marches up to James, who seems empty. 

"Hey." Eliza manages out, plopping down next to him. 

Madison doesn't say a word, his eyes locked onto the sky. 

"I know you must feel... pretty bad." Eliza curses at herself. 'Pretty bad'? Really? 

Madison snorts. "You have no idea. I have to reap the dead in a gloomy, underground hellhole, the only thing keeping me sane is cookies and wine... and him. I felt amazing when I married him. 'Yeah, I'm married to the god of beauty. I must be worth something'." Madison chuckles lifelessly. "Guess not." 

Eliza lets out a sigh. "Look, I may have never been in the _exact_ situation you're in. But I _have_ been cheated on. And you know what you need?" 

"His blood as payment for his unjustifible crime?" 

"Exactly." Eliza smiles, and James cracks a small smile as well, when Alexander looks visibly worried for their morbidness. 

"Let's go hunt ourselves down a hoe." 

Madison gets up, dusting himself off, and marching pridefully off to the direction that the mirror instructed. Eliza and Alexander followed him, more friendly than they were with him before. 

\------------------ 

"Babe, why are you so worried?" Aaron cooes, erging him to get back to bed. 

"Did you hear that noise? Only one man could make that big of an explosion. My... um... friend. He must've been hypnotized by Alexander and... the other one." Thomas lies, and Burr gasps. 

"The one that harassed us earlier today?" Aaron murmurs, and Jefferson nods. 

"That's right. You see what he can do? That's why I need him dead." Jefferson smiles. 

Aaron nods firmly, before something prys at him. His curiosity, though considerably mangled by the spell, was still in there. "...that drink. What were they trying to get me to drink?" 

"Poison." Thomas says without giving him a glance. Lies flew out of his mouth like word vomit. 

But this was the first time that Aaron didn't one hundred percent believe the lie, and the skepticality bled in his response. "Mhmm." 

Thomas heard it in his voice. The spell was wearing off. "We're going to the waterfall." Thomas says immeadiately, yanking his arm roughly. 

"W-why?" 

"I have a surprise. Now c'mon." He says, no mirth in his voice. Only hurry. His plan would work if the spell faded off, and Madison was coming for him. He needed Hamilton dead before Madison would come and probably burn his whole temple down. 

But what he didn't know is that Alexander and the others were already outside.


	11. So... I Guess Madison was the Prick All Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy oh boy y'all are in for a t r e a t

Past a village on a hill, through a meadow, tens of thousands of feet above a deep, deep forest, past a waterfall through another forest, then and then down and straight back up an interminable jump to the underworld, in a glittering temple, lied the three gods, ready to throw down.

"So, who gets the first hit?" Alexander questions. "Because personally, he's interrupted my work for eons and I've truly been waiting for _eternity_ to punch his smug ass into the ground."

"Well, you'll have to wait a bit longer, because I'm taking the first hit." James replies, summoning a ball of green fire to manipulate for his will.

"None of you are taking the first hit yet." Eliza groans.

"She's right. Ladies first. Eliza takes the first hit." Alexander shrugs. "I'm _straight_ after though."

"No. I mean you won't be laying a finger on him until we get the mortal to safety." Eliza finishes, and the two give Eliza the most insane looks.

James and Alex whined and complained until their words became indecipherable because of the passion of the other. They both simultaneously squeal: "Why?!" 

"Because I've been thinking about a plan. Madison, you go in there and check up on your husband as if nothing's wrong. While the two of you talk, Alexander and I grab the mortal and get him to drink the potion. If the mortal cries for help or yells, then Thomas will have no choice but to stay to make himself look innocent. We'll give you a signal when the job's done."

"That's... actually kind of brilliant." James processes, running the plan over in his head.

"So... when we're done with the heist... and the mortal is safe... _then_ can we-"

"Yes. Then you can beat his ass."

"Then it's settled then. Madison. Do your thing." Alex shoos, making a sweeping hand motion with his fingers. He and Eliza bolt to the nearest bush, hiding. Madison rolls his eyes and mocks his smug tone before heading in. A fake smile plastered upon Madison's face, brighter than the usual.

"Honey? You there, babe?" James calls out, trying his best to keep himself tame. 

Jefferson's eyes widened dramatically. Shit. Madison's here. But he didn't seem mad... holy _fuck_ yes! He probably doesn't know anything yet... which means Thomas may be able to twist his words to Madison's liking. The spell was wearing off, and he needed more allies. If he said the right words, then he could probably get out of this with a husband, and one other pestilence of a god to add to the pile of the dead. Thomas took a deep breath. He needed a backup plan if this didn't work, however. Madison had one shitshow of a temper tantrum and his need a contingency. Thomas' eyes darted to a large bottle of wine, and an idea popped spontaneously into his head. 

"Who is that? Why did he call you 'babe'?" Aaron asks, his tone darkening.

"A friend of mine, dear. Nothing you need to worry about. Why don't you go to the waterfall and I'll meet you there?" Thomas whispers, leaning in before pecking him on the cheek. Aaron giggles happily before leaving the temple to head to the waterfall. Thomas exhales deeply in relief. Step one, done.

"I'm right here, honey!" Thomas says cheerfully in reply. "C'mon in, sugar." He drawls. 

Madison clenches his fists, _trying_ not to let his temper get the best of him. He took a deep breath, and furthered in. 

Thomas threw his arms, on Madison's shoulder, leaning down for a brief kiss. Thomas then slinked onto the couch, legs crossed. "Honey, there's somethin' I need to tell you, and please don't get mad." 

Wait, _what_? 

"What is it, Thom?" James asks, genuinely curious. He wouldn't give his plan away... would he? 

"A mortal fell in love with me. I don't know why, and I don't know how. I just wanted to get this out, because I don't love him. You're my only one, darlin~," Thomas begins, winking. James surpresses both his anger and his blush. 

"Anyway, since he fell madly in love with me, I used him as leverage to kill Hamilton. Since, you know, he's a terrible little pestilence that no one should have to deal with. And I know what you may be thinkin', 'Thomas, my sweet love, did you partake in any action with the mortal'? And the answer is no. I didn't touch 'em, and I barely even spoke to 'em, so I'm not cheatin' on you sweetie pie. You got all that?" 

Ohhhhh. That was the catch. He told him the truth, but a _twisted_ truth. 

He sure hoped that Eliza and Alex were done getting that mortal, because he was about to burn the whole damn place down. 

"I'm not sure killing Alexander is really what we need." James says instead of the miles of curse words and anger he's been building up. 

"C'mon, hon. This is _exactly_ what we need. Once Alexander is dead, Washington will only have one advisor. Me. I'll make sure you get out of that hellhole and you're given a _much_ more rewarding job. Once Washington dies, since he has no offspring, he'll have to appoint the one he trusts the most... or his advisor." 

"We'd become the rulers of America..." James echos, finding out the heart of his plan, and Thomas smiles. "Exactly." 

James Madison sat there blank-faced, but his mind was boiling something up. Thomas was onto something here. He could let Thomas kill Alexander (Madison would make sure the mortal was dead as well), and let him become King of the Gods... only to slip a little something in his drink at the celebration ceremony. Once he's out of commision, the other gods will have no choice but to turn to his 'sweet, little husband'. And _he_ could become the ruler of the gods. _He_ wouldn't have to slave away at some deep, dim hole. _He_ would be at the top. _He_ would call the shots, and him alone. 

_King Madison_. A wicked smile crept along his lips just thinking about it. 

"So, what do you want me to do?" James says, trying to hold his smirk back. 

I need you to find Hamilton, and lure him to the waterfall where the mortal will be. Can you do that, hon?" Thomas replies. 

"I can do that, sweetie pie." Madison says. Alexander and Eliza gave him the signal from the outside, and Madison kissed his husband's cheek before snapping his fingers and vanishing with a poof. 

"Oh this is going to be so _easy_!" Thomas smiles, excited for the bright future he was going to have with Madison. 

"Oh, this is going to be so _easy_..." Madison smirks, excited for the bright future ahead of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I T O L D YOU MADISON WAS GONNA BE A FUCKING CUNT IN THIS
> 
> HE'S GONNA KILL THOMAS, ALEXANDER, A N D AARON
> 
> O H O BOY OH BOY
> 
> follow my tumblr: androrygins

**Author's Note:**

> oooooo what's in the forest lmao
> 
> I hope you liked it! Comments and kudos are appreciated! Oh, and follow my tumblr for more updates ;0
> 
> Tumblr: androrygins


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